


No More Goodbyes

by thekingslover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 15:37:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1475098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekingslover/pseuds/thekingslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is about to leave again, but this time, Dean’s going to put everything on the line. He’s going to confess his attraction and if Cas still leaves - well, at least Dean will never wonder what could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Published on tumblr 10 months ago. <3

Dean grips Cas’ sleeve. He should let Cas go, he knows, just like he’s always done before. But this time, he can’t will his fingers to unclench that tan overcoat. He never wanted to lose Cas before, but now, after everything, the thought of going on alone is unbearable.

"Dean," Cas says, an unasked question in his voice.

"No," Dean says.

"Dean."

"No, Cas."

Cas stares at him, blank expression cracking only for a second to show a hint of pain before correcting again. “It’s better this way,” he says.

"Bullshit," Dean says. Cas’ eyes widen, so Dean adds, "Is that really what you think?"

Cas swallows. “I only cause…” His gaze drops. “Anguish.”

"Only anguish? Really?" Dean says. "Are you even paying attention? Do you even look at me when you spend all day looking at me?”

"I make you sad," Cas says and bites his lip.

"Yeah. When you _leave_.” Dean dips his head to reclaim Cas’ attention. “What do you see when you stay? It sure as hell isn’t anguish.”

Cas looks small in his trenchcoat, smaller than Dean knows him to be, and the sight makes his stomach knot. They’ve been here too many times, saying goodbye. Maybe it’s time to stop.

Dean takes a breath, readying himself. This is the big one - make or break time. Before he wouldn’t risk it, but Dean honestly doesn’t know if he can handle another one of Cas’ disappearances. He needs the man he loves by his side. He needs his shy smile and his awkwardness and his long glances. And he wants so much more than that.

"I love you. And not just in that friend kind of way. I love you. I want you around. I want to take you out for burgers and shit, and go to the movies. I want you to share my room. I want to watch you sleep for a change. Hell, I just want you, Cas,” Dean says, and when the words leave his mouth, they feel so right, he wonders why he waited so long to say them.

Cas’ mouth falls open a little but he’s otherwise frozen. He doesn’t even blink. And sadness starts to swell inside of Dean, because even though the words felt right, that doesn’t mean Cas will return them.

After a moment, Cas says, “Dean, I -“

"It’s cool, man." Dean cuts him off, not wanting to actually hear Cas reject him. The implication is bad enough. When he releases Cas’ coat, he can’t lift his gaze from the ground. "I get it. No hard feelings. Had to try, you know?"

The hand that cups his face is not his own, and Dean looks up in surprise, breath catching in his throat. Cas’ blank mask has vanished, replaced now by fear and hope that gloss his eyes and flush his skin.

"Not anguish?" Cas asks.

"No," Dean promises. "Only when you leave. If you… leave."

Cas smiles then, so big and bright that his cheeks probably hurt though he doesn’t seem to care. “I love you, too, Dean,” he says, and Dean finally releases the breath he’d been holding.

He pulls Cas into the hug he’d been repressing and Cas goes willingly, folding himself into the curve of Dean’s body.

"Stay," Dean says. "Please, stay. I can’t… Without you, I can’t -"

"Yes." Cas kisses Dean’s shoulder and the side of his neck.

"Forever," Dean says.

"Yes."


End file.
